A poem I like!

They fuck you up,
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It depends like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.
(Philip Larkin)

i want to be a rock star, they all have a drugdealer on their speed dial!!!

Let's get high!!! Ye, all of us! Smoke some weed, pretend we are happy and smiling. I want a phone with a drug dealer on the speed dial. Why not? It would calm me down and the world wouldn't seem so cruel anymore. Float on pink clouds, laugh without reason- that's the therapy!

Prince charming :)

We grow in a patriarchal, mainly heterosexual society. Our role models from early childhood are our parents, at least for most of us, and we tend to look for a half to make our lives full(though i don't know full of what?!). For girls that half is a disguise of prince charming. Yep, like it or not every girl is that little princess that awaits her prince to give her the enchanted kiss and sweep her of her feet. Cute, hm? Of course that guy has to be handsome (even if sometimes is only our imagination), powerfull and not the last- loving. Is he a brunet IT guy, an architect, a waiter, a boheme artist, a smart doctor, a shy sailorman, an engineer with a sense of humor or that boy with long eyelashes ? WHO is he? How do you know he's the right guy? Do the butterfly effect need interfere? Anyway it's not like he needs to rescue you from a morbid castle(which is more of a humble hostel:), you just need to feel a click. The mechanism that turns on the flame is harder to encounter- does it have to envolve brains, muscles, joking, playing, money or only a sparkle? A flame that makes you stay awake in night time, get up very early in the morning just to send a sms or grow your hair a certain way?! I would like it to be easier, but the process of selecting prince charming is not so simple. I sometimes think that the concept of "prince charming" is overrated- can't i setle for anyguy that appears at my front door with flowers, no matter his IQ or career outcome? He may change on the road anyway. But I guess the answer is no. I need my prince charming, to feel the fever of love in my stomach- it's not enough for him to do his best or say he loves you. No, for certain that's not what it takes to crown him your "prince charming". Chemistry counts! Did I find my prince? I hope not, cause it would be sad to know I drove him away!:(

There's gotta be a little rain sometimes............

No one promised me a rose garden. Not even close ...
I got now to the point when my life takes a turn. I don't want to, but it's a must not a prefferd thing. I met sunny days, when i felt like a queen, on top of the world, or at least on top of the situation. But there were also days of mourning for my failures and nights in tears feeling abandoned and empty. No one can have it all perfect. Thre's gotta be a little rain sometimes. This rain can be a warm shower that gives one courage and strenght or it may pe cold as ice and freeze one's thoughts. I think I have experienced both. I am no guru of nothing, it's just me with my thoughts trying to penetrate the cruel world that awaits me. At this point I only have question in my head?.How was it until now? Why? Towards what? For how long? With whom? What's behind door number two? Can i gamble with faith, trick her somehow to wisper something in advance?...I guess not, it's just that...there's gotta be a little rain sometimes!